BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP: UPDATED 9/19/08
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BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP: UPDATED 9/19/08
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Time-Sensitive Information First, then BANSG Schedule and General Information:
*****FREE MONTHLY NANNY EVENTS
*****ALL NANNIES INVITED TO ATTEND AS MANY OR AS FEW AS THEY LIKE:*****
EGAD! What a long time since this site has been updated! Finally, (Sept 19), a chance to bring it up to date!
NEXT NANNY EVENT:
HOSTED BY LOCAL NANNIES:
ALL NANNIES AND AU PAIRS WELCOME!
WHERE:
Central Square Branch of the Cambridge public library, 45 Pearl St., Cambridge, in a comfortable conference room:
WHEN:
Sept. 20, 2008, noon-2pm
WHAT:
"Meet and Greet" pot luck lunch and chat. Meet local longtime nannies, new nannies, part-time, full-time, live-in, and live-out nannies. Make friends, network for playdates and after-work get-togethers and child-friendly outing information in your community, and just talk about the job with the only people who truly understand what you do for a living....other nannies! Come alone, or invite your nanny friends!
Bring lunch food for 6-8 to share, and a drink for yourself. (The Harvest Market and deli is a short block away on Mass. Ave., for last-minute food purchases.) Paper and plasticware provided.
INCLUDED:
Very Informal Optional Book Swap: If you have summer reading or childrearing books you are finished with, bring them for others to browse. Take home books you are interested in. I've been picking up classic childcare books (such as the Ferber sleep book) from other bookswaps, to give to anyone who wants them at the Meet and Greet.
AND,
The BANSG resource material will be there to browse also, with sample work agreements and collections of various nanny newsletters such as "Be the Best Nanny", etc.
WHO:
The Boston Area Nanny Support Group (BANSG)
We are an 8-year-old group of nannies providing free twice-monthly e-newsletter, support, resources, networking, and gatherings for fellow nannies in the Greater Boston Area (and for those further away, who want to come). We send our information to local agencies to distribute, but we are independent of agencies, and are completely nanny-operated. Boston Area Nanny Support Group (BANSG) is a very informal group, no dues or official membership procedure...just come when you can, and sign up for the email list so you know what's happening. :-)
If you plan to attend the Sept. 20 event, please RSVP to janstclair@aol.com.
Thanks!
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TENTATIVE UPCOMING BANSG NANNY EVENT SCHEDULE
Details will be posted on the website (http://tinyurl.com/2bsjeo) and in upcoming e-newsletters.
When we do meet, it is usually on the third Saturday of the month, noon-2pm, at the Central Square Library conference room. As you will see, in many cases we have dates set but events are not yet arranged. If you are know of a free speaker who will offer a workshop of interest, or if you have an idea for a topic we can seek a speaker for, please contact janstclair@aol.com. Otherwise, we will have low-key social gatherings on those dates.
(OCT: NANNYPALOOZA is Oct. 4-5, details at http://www.nannycredential.org)
-Oct. 18, there may be a BANSG event, pending resolution of a scheduling conflict. TBA
-Nov/Dec. No events due to pre-holiday busy times for everyone.
-Jan. 17: Post-Holiday Party and Yankee Swap--a popular BANSG tradition: a party to ease us out of the spate of holiday celebrations that suddenly end on Jan. 1, and an opportunity to swap our post-holiday bargains (or unwanted gifts) for something we like! And a chance to get together with other nannies, after two months of holiday busyness!
-Feb. 21 or other weekend as can be arranged with the instructor: RED CROSS CPR and First Aid renewal (**Our only event which is not free: take courses geared toward nannies, with nannies, by an instructor who is a former nanny, and pay the Red Cross fee.**)
-March 21: "Caring for Babies Forum", FREE all-day educational event in Cambridge (no nanny meeting, but many of us attend together)
-April 18th: BANSG NINTH Anniversary Celebration- party games, giveaways, rich chocolate dessert, and fun! (The anniversary of our first official meeting is actually January or March, depending on whether you count the first open organizational meeting, but this is the nearest month when we can celebrate!)
-May: Date TBA, annual Saturday volunteer project at Perkins School for the Blind, providing childcare during regional conference for parents of visually impaired preschoolers. We are counselors for the day in a well-organized "camp" for the impaired children and their sighted siblings.
June 18: End of School Year Nanny event, TBA
July-Aug.: seeking volunteer to organize and host summer events (picnics, beach day, etc.)
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Thanks to all the businesses that donated door prizes and goody bag items that were given out at the BANSG 8th Anniversary celebration on April 19! PLEASE PATRONIZE THE BUSINESSES THAT SUPPORT THE NANNY COMMUNITY!
Below is a list of items and donors, in the order in which I received the donations:
Goody Bag Items and Donors:
-Nanny Tshirts (ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME!!) from Deb Smith of 4EverythingNanny.com
-Literacy-promoting tshirts (ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE WHO CAME!) from Wondershirts.com
-Bags and literature from Health Ins. org
DOOR PRIZES AND DONORS:
1, 2) Books, donated by Glenda Propbst, Usbourne Books representative
www.bornreader.com, imabornreader@gmail.com
You can register for $50 in Free books every month on my website and there are always books on sale. (upper left corner)
3) NANC Membership (www.NannyCredential.org ) Lora Brawley, consultant and trainer
Lora@allaboutnannycare.com www.AllAboutNannyCare.com 253 517-8025 ~ office
4) A-to-Z Nanny Work Agreement (NannyContracts.info), by Lora Brawley, consultant/trainer
Lora@allaboutnannycare.com www.NannyContracts.info 253 517-8025 ~ office
5) CPR Course, donated by Boston's Best Babysitters
513 East Broadway, South Boston, MA 02127
617-268-7148 bbbabysitters.com
6) PARENTS FORUM donates a free PF workshop for 1 (www.parentsforum.org)
7) NAEYC membership, donated by Parents in a Pinch
45 Bartlett Crescent, Brookline, MA 02446
Phone number: 617-739-5437 www.parentsinapinch.com
8-9) 2 NANC Memberships donated by Boston Nanny Centre
135 Selwyn Rd, Newton, MA 02461
(617) 527-0114 www.bostonnanny.com
10) NANC Membership donated by American Nanny Company
15 Woodside Ave., Newton, MA 02160
(617) 244-5154 www.americannannycompany.com
11) APN Membership donated by Enannysource.com
12) NANC Membership donated by Enannysource.com
13) NANC Membership donated by HomeWorkSolutions.net
14) INA Membership donated by HomeWorkSolutions.net
15) Courier Bag, from Network Health
THANK YOU TO ALL! AGAIN, PLEASE PATRONIZE THE BUSINESSES THAT SUPPORT THE NANNY COMMUNITY!
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SPECIAL BANSG PROJECT:
OUR BOOK DRIVE FOR LOCAL UNDERPRIVILEDGED CHILDREN, ended April 19, 2008
496 books were collected!
Imagine giving an underpriviledged local child his first very own book!
To celebrate the Week of the Young Child (April 13-19), BANSG collected new and gently-used children's books to donate to the Cambridge Agenda For Children's Literacy Initiative (run by the City of Cambridge. See http://www.cambridgechildren.org/programs/literacy_initiative.php). The LI will distribute the books to local underpriviledged children.
Thanks to all who donated books, and to the businesses who volunteered to be drop sites for the donated books!
The Boston Area Nanny Support Group ran this local book drive, as part of a nationwide effort by nanny groups to promote early literacy during the Week of the Young Child. 9 other groups across the country held similar events. Every child needs a chance to develop a love of reading!
Please patronize the businesses that give back to the community! The following volunteered to be drop sites for the book drive:
-Porter Square Books, in Porter Square Shopping Center, next to Tags Hardware
-Barefoot Books, 1771 Mass. Ave, Cambridge (BB also gave a discount on books purchased for donation)
-Harvest Market, Central Square Location, 581 Mass. Ave, Cambridge
-Central Square Branch and Cambridge Main Library, Broadway (in the children's room)
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Our Semi-Regular Meeting Time and Space: (third Saturday of the month, noon-2pm)
Where: Conference Room at the Central Square Branch of the Cambridge Public Library, 45 Pearl St. (short block from T bus and Red Line stops, beside $1/hr parking garage, and near Memorial and Storrow Drives and Mass Pike.)
Who: All nannies: young, "vintage", fulltime, part-time, career, temporary, working, seeking work, experienced, new to nannying, also au pair and post-partum doulas, whether they've ever attended a BANSG event or not!
What: 1) Pot luck lunch and event: everyone bring lunch food or dessert for 6-8 people. (Paper/plasticware provided)
2) A speaker, workshop, celebration, or just a "relaxathon".
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Travel and parking:
The Central Square Library is right next to a $1/hr municipal parking
garage. From Mass. Ave. turn onto Pearl St., take first right onto
Green St. (garage entrance)
The Library is one short block from the Central Square Red Line T
Station, and Mass. Ave bus stop which serves multiple bus lines.
It is near major arteries such as Mass. Pike, Storrow Drive, and
Memorial Drive. Use 45 Pearl Street as the end point on your
internet driving-directions search.
Green Street garage, on-street street parking and public lots are all convenient.
See bottom section for more information.
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-Please note that whenever possible, BANSG events are on the third Saturday of the month, noon-2pm.
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(**Note: The new organization Association of Professional Nannies (APN) has taken the web address of the now-defunct National Association of Nannies, with the permission of the NAN past president. For information on the new APN, and for a free trial membership through October 2007, visit www.nannyassociation.com)
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******RESOURCE: Check the section below this one for notes on how you can intervene when you see a child being mistreated in public.
****To request a certain kind of event, OR TO BE PUT ON THE EMAIL ANNOUNCEMENTS LIST for notice and updates on various nanny-related events in the Greater Boston area, please email janstclair@aol.com with "Nanny List" in the subject line. (There are often too many tips to fit on this website. We recommend signing up for the email list. E-addresses will never be sold or used for spam, and signing up does not obligate you to participate in the group.)
POST-PARTUM DOULA SPECIAL INTEREST GROUP
Post-partum doulas have always been welcome to BANSG events. We started a SIG for PPD's last year, however the person heading it is changing careers now. Post-Partum Doulas are still very welcome at BANSG events, and if someone would like to run a SIG with special Doula events, please contact JanStClair@aol.com. I'd be glad to help organize it.
VINTAGE NANNIES: Nannies over 40 (even WAY over 40) are forming a group for networking and socializing. Email janstclair@aol.com to be put on the contact list.
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2007 EVENT REVIEWS:
(Note: A mix of 25 parents and nannies attended the Parent-Nanny University mini-conference on "Crafting a Balanced Work Agreement, and Smooth Communications" on Nov. 17, 2007. Many attending requested that NPU events occur on an ongoing basis. We are hoping to put on the next event on May 14...so save the date, and watch for more information!)
(Note: 110 Nannies and others in the nanny industry attended Nannypalooza in Philly on Oct.20-21, and the Nanny Credential was officially introduced. For more information, visit www.nannycredential.org.)
(Note: 15 nannies attended the "Nannies Night Out" for dinner, the premiere of the Nanny Diaries movie, and a "Dish the Diaries Dessert" in Davis Square, Somerville on Aug. 24, 2007.)
(Note: 15 people attended the workshop on "When Strangers Mistreat Children in Public" on June 16, and learned some excellent strategies for intervening in these disturbing situations. Full notes are in the section below.)
(Note: 21 nannies attended the BANSG Anniversary party on March 24, and enjoyed great food, great companionship, a fun party game, and an outpouring of giveaways. A grand time was had by all!)
(And 13 nannies learned stress reduction techniques on May 12, and enjoyed a lovely tea party at our "Caring for the Caregiver" event.)
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Who We Are: BANSG is a free independent group by nannies for nannies, and is unaffiliated with any agency. Our purpose is networking with each other, sharing information on local resources, forming friendships and playgroups, increasing our skills in caregiving and in working with families, and brainstorming over issues that arise from the job.
Who is welcome at BANSG events? All nannies, whether or not they have ever attended a BANSG event! This includes nannies from the Boston area, those further flung, part-time or fulltime, young or "Vintage", currently or formerly employed, au pairs, post-partum doulas, etc.
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In our job we don't have a water cooler to gather around, so this is our chance for
"Vintage Nannies", career and experienced nannies, and first-timers to share ideas and experiences, make friends and arrange playdates, and just have fun connecting with other people who understand what we do.
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REVISED 8/06: THE BANSG GUIDE FOR NANNIES SEEKING INDIVIDUAL LOW-COST AND APPROPRIATE HEALTH COVERAGE IN MA, PLUS OPTIONS FOR FREE AND DISCOUNTED CARE FOR LOW-INCOME INDIVIDUALS.
Email janstclair@aol.com with "Nanny Health Handout" in the subject line for a Word copy.
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"INTERNET EVENTS":
"Be The Best Nanny" Newsletter now offers a free monthly article in pdf format. For a new article each month, go to http://www.bestnannynewsletter.com/MONTHLYARTICLE.pdf
Introducing NANC (NATIONAL ASSOCIATION FOR NANNY CARE) the updated name for NANA...The National Association for Nanny Accreditation, a coalition of individuals throughout the nanny industry. You can make a significant contribution to raising the standard for childcare and for making the nanny profession a respected one. Please go to http://www.NANNYCREDENTIAL.org, learn about this organization and join.
NANC is working toward a national credentialling process for the most basic level nanny, plus two tiers of more specialized nannies...a way for those with more experience and education to distinguish themselves. We intend to create nanny credentialling as an accessible, worthwhile, accepted, national system. Please visit NANNYCREDENTIAL.org now.
*** RESOURCE:
BOOKLIST TO HELP CHILDREN DEAL WITH STRESSES AFTER TERRORISM (Companion list for helping children who are dealing with death, as well)
In response to 9/11, the BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP (BANSG), with the help of local children's librarians, compiled this list and broke it into helpful categories with brief descriptions of the recommended books. Daryl Marks, head of the children's libraries in Cambridge, calls these lists "outstanding". To download, go to http://www.i-nannies.com/booklist.html
or, go to www.nannyassociation.com/911 and cut-and-paste. If your computer is unable to access these lists, please email janstclair@aol.com and I'll get them to you. (Copies are being sent by head librarians to children's libraries all over MA. You can also check your local library.)
PLEASE FREELY COPY AND GIVE OUT THESE LISTS TO LIBRARIES OUTSIDE MA, MUSEUM RESOURCE ROOMS, PLAYGROUPS, ETC.
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GENERAL INFORMATION ON THE BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP:
"A friend is one to whom one may pour out all the contents of one's heart, chaff and grain together, knowing that the gentlest of hands will take and sift it, keep what is worth keeping, and with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Ancient Proverb
This group was started in March 2000 by a live-out nanny and a live-in nanny who were lucky enough to find each other and develop a friendship. The live-in nanny has since moved on, but the group has brought other friends and supporters....
WHO WE ARE: We are an independent grassroots group for nannies and by nannies, and have no ties to any agency or for-profit group. There are no dues, and no member registration process beyond a signup sheet if nannies want to receive updates by email or phone. We welcome fulltime, part time, career, and temporary in-home childcare providers. Nannies can just show up, and are welcome to attend meetings as often or as infrequently as they like. We think we have a lot of fun and provide lots of interesting information at each meeting, but no one is pressured to be more involved than they want to be.
MISSION STATEMENT: Our mission is to provide personal and professional support to nannies of all ages and experience levels. This includes providing a monthly meeting and a structure in which nannies can discuss topics of interest, brainstorm current problems, network, socialize and generally make friends and help each other deal with nanny-related issues. It also includes orienting nannies new to the area and connecting them to nannies in their neighborhood, helping connect nannies to additional resources, and providing educational workshops for nannies. We feel that people who are working as nannies, either as a career or as a temporary job, need the opportunity to tap into the perspective and experience of other people who do the same work.
WHY A NANNY SUPPORT GROUP? We nannies can feel isolated in our jobs, and it helps to have other nanny friends. We need a community in which to network, vent, learn, share, problem-solve, and socialize. And sometimes we career nurturers need a little nurturing ourselves.
OUR MEETINGS: We generally meet on the third Saturday of each month from noon-2pm, though we have the occasional special event at other dates and times. Lunch is potluck (make or buy, or just bring your own lunch if you don't like potluck). There are no dues and no member registration process. (We do encourage you to sign up for an email or phone list for info and updates, but it's not mandatory.) Nannies can just show up. For meeting site and directions, see bottom section of this website.
MEETING FORMAT: We chat for about 15 minutes while everyone arrives and organizes lunch, then announcements are made, and we go around the room with brief introductions. Then we eat and begin the scheduled discussion or event.
Part or all of the meeting is often set aside for a special event, such as a documentary and discussion, a guest speaker, or for a workshop of interest to people who work with children. The scheduled event lasts about 1-1 1/2 hours, and is followed by social time. We officially end at 2pm, but people may move to area coffee shops after the library closes, and chat.
Nannies are encouraged to use these meetings to set up nanny social activities (with or without children), form playgroups, and welcome and orient nannies new to the area. We hope to provide regular organized social events as the group (and leadership! Hint Hint!) expands. Perhaps there will even be spin-off groups of nannies pursuing common interests together. We provide resource notebooks with information on laws pertinent to nannies (live-in salaries, etc), and on local child-related resources. Nannies are asked to add other information of interest for these notebooks or for the table of handouts. By all means bring flyers and announce your nanny-related event!
MEETING GUIDELINES:
There are 2 ways to use this meeting for support: either talk about issues during the meeting, or use the discussion time to pick out people you’d feel comfortable talking to privately later.
This group has 2 guidelines:
1) Confidentiality: We ask that everyone keep confidential any personal experiences that may be discussed here. We want everyone here and their employers to feel safe from repercussions of any breach of confidentiality.
One way to make sure this happens, when you raise an issue in a group like this is to put it in general rather than specific terms. Such as, ask "What would you do with an employer who does such and such," or "How would you handle a child age 10 who starts doing such and such"…so no one will know if you are referring to a current or past situation, or even one that a friend might be in.
2) Respect: Everyone will be respected here. (OK, don't be frightened off...we have a very warm and respectful group. This is just our stated policy, should we find a need to call on it:)
If individuals present have personal issues with each other, they must keep their conflict outside this room. Also, raging controversies can be a lot of fun, and we intend to keep them positive. If individuals strongly disagree on issues, they must do so without personal attacks and stick to the topic. Anyone can leave the room and take a breather at any time.
OTHER GROUPS: We feel that a lot of nanny groups working together in cooperation can meet a lot more of nannies' needs than any one group or approach can do. Therefore this group freely provides information on other nanny support groups in the Boston Area, such as the internet-based Massachusetts Nannies, MA Nannies Den and NENannyNet, and the Agency-based Worcester support group, and the incorporated Boston Area Nannies which is currently on hiatus (similar name, but different group from Boston Area Nanny Support Group). Nannies are encouraged to sample each group and join as many or as few as they like. With permission, this website will provide announcements about other groups' events which are open to all nannies. If anyone else is organizing a nanny group or event and would like information posted here, please contact me at JanStClair@aol.com
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NOTES "WHEN STRANGERS MISTREAT CHILDREN IN PUBLIC", PAST BANSG EVENTS/RESOURCES
“What (Not) To Do When Strangers Mistreat Children in Public”
The following are updated notes from 6/18/05 and 6/16/07 free workshops organized by BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP, http://hometown.aol.com/janstclair/myhomepage/club.html, janstclair@aol.com, or 617-491-2541. Presenters for the 05 workshop: Stephanie Collins from MA Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children (www.mspcc.org), and Eve Sullivan, founder of Parents Forum (www.parentsforum.org) and developer of the workshop "How to Tell Somebody Something They'd Rather Not Hear”. For the 07 workshop Eve Sullivan returned, and William Sharp, a psychotherapist from Brookline, MA, represented the MSPCC. The 07 workshop was Sign Language interpreted, courtesy of Dunkin Donuts.
The goal when intervening is to apply “psychological first aid” to break the escalation of anger in the adult and stop the mistreatment of the child for the incident currently happening. Intervening may or may not influence the adult’s behavior for the future, but for the moment, that child is not being hit or demeaned.
We also hope for the ripple effect: that people will observe that you intervene, see how it can be done, and may then have the confidence to intervene themselves in future situations. And perhaps a seed is planted in the out-of-control adult, who may decide to change his/her behavior toward a gentler path. S/he has seen you remain calm and supportive in a tense situation and may begin to think s/he can do that, too.
So, first, take a deep breath and let it out. Release your own tension so you can approach calmly. This is a key point, and we kept coming back to it.
Generally, expressing disapproval of the mistreating adult does not help, and often makes the person angrier, increasing the likelihood that the child may be hurt or be hurt worse. And the adult may become violent toward you, especially if s/he feels cornered.
The recommended approach is to side with the adult, make her feel supported, and try to DEFUSE the tension. Say something you can sincerely say like, “Kids that age can be a handful”, or “What a beautiful child you have! How old is he?”, or even address the child first, “You sure are giving your mom a hard time.” Then, “I’m a nanny (or a parent), and I’ve had kids act up in the store. It’s a lot of work to shop with a toddler.” and try to strike up a conversation, or offer help. For instance, when a full carriage prevents the mom from putting a hyper child in it, say “Would you like me to take him in my carriage?”
Sometimes this distraction can break the moment of anger and allow the chronically bad-parenting adult to move on. A basically good parent who has “lost it” in the moment can feel connected and supported, and regain perspective.
Sometimes it helps to side with the parent via body language. Physically step up beside the parent and even -- without actually touching, which could trigger more anger -- extend a hand in a gesture of support. This posture puts you in a supportive frame of mind as you think of the right words, and tells the parent, before you speak, that you are there to help, not condemn.
MSPCC has excellent handouts, small cards that can be tucked into a purse or pocket and pulled out for reference when an incident is happening. Contact your local MSPCC (or SPCC, if out of state) and ask for “When Parents Mistreat their Kids in Public”, “Grocery Shopping with Kids Can be Fun,” and “Eating Out with Kids Can be Fun”. The cards can help you think of what to say or do, or can be handed to the adult after you connect, with a comment like “This really helped me…I can get another copy, you keep it.” MSPCC,157 Green St., Jamaica Plain MA 02130. Call 617-983-5826 or visit http://www.mspcc.org.
The sad realitiy is that STATISTICALLY VERY FEW PEOPLE INTERVENE at all when they see/hear a child being mistreated. When they do, it is mostly by glaring or saying something disapproving, which makes the angry person embarrassed and more likely to take their embarassment out on the child. Most people feel completely helpless to say or do anything and just look away.
Any time that a child is being clearly abused (hit, kicked, etc), call the police. We discussed seeing an adult whose manner says that his or her behavior clearly escalates habitually: should we stand by and let that person get out of control, rather than intervene to defuse, so there will be witnesses and the police and DCS will be able to save the child from future abuse in private? The MSPCC speaker said it is better to defuse the current situation.
The reality is that too many times the authorities cannot act because of insufficient evidence, too-large caseloads, too few foster families, etc. Even with witnesses, an investigation can result in the child being left with the parent, who is by then enraged by the negative attention from the authorities “because of the child.” By intervening, you have the chance to do the most good. People will see you intervene and gain confidence, and they may intervene the next time. Even a hardened mistreater may start to think about his/her behavior…s/he sees you in what is clearly a stressful situation taking a breath and calming defusing it. S/he may take a lesson from your example, or may take a cumulative lesson after others who have learned from your example intervene in the same way during future incidents. A safe child for the present, and a ripple effect for additional helpful interventions from bystanders, is our hope.
There will be situations in which you feel you cannot intervene. No one, even professionals, can intervene every time. Maybe the mistreating adult is physically intimidating, and you fear being attacked if you speak up. Maybe you’re worn out from your own cares or a long workday, and don’t have it in you to dredge up support at that moment. Follow your instincts and forgive yourself if you can’t step up to the plate at that moment. No one can save the world, we are only human. All we can do is what we actually can do at a given moment, and no more.
There are tips on http://www.childabuse.com
When you are telling somebody something that they may not want to hear, this formula helps you to communicate clearly and in a way in which you take responsibility for your point of view:
I feel ----------(feeling)
about ---------- (specific incident or aspect)
because ---------- (principle or idea)
For instance,
“I feel worried about the yelling because you seem to be under so much stress.” Or “I feel concerned about your yelling because I’ve found it seldom worked for me in the past.”
Again, however, follow your instincts. The above formula is a more gentle way to give criticism, but it is still criticism and an out-of-control person may go off even more if approached in this way. To learn this technique in more depth, or to practice it with others, consider joining one of the free or low-cost workshops “How to Tell Somebody Something They’d Rather Not Hear” given by PARENTS FORUM. Their workshops are open to everyone, and caregivers are very welcome. Also, the entire book about this approach, called Where the Heart Listens, can be downloaded for free at http://www.parentsforum.org along with workshop schedules.
Further information given in the 07 workshop highlighted the fact that an angry or enraged person cannot connect with the rational part of their brain…they are trapped in the more primitive “feeling” part. They will hear and process maybe 8% of your words, and will be extra aware of your body language, tone of voice, and facial expression. A person in that state will reject ego-based shaming, logic, lecturing…but if you can remember ever being that angry and accept that it happens to all of us, you can approach that person as an equal and whatever you do or say is more likely to get through. So along with the deep breath, shed your ego and be a friend for a few minutes to someone who maybe never had a kind word before. And then forgive yourself if what you say or do doesn’t seem to work in this instance. It may actually help more than you’ll ever know.
One person asked if it’s ethical to misrepresent yourself to make the offenders more likely to listen, for instance “I’m a doctor, and it’s harmful for kids to be around when you’re getting drunk.” The answer is, an out-of-control adult is hearing not so much your words as your attitude, and if those are the words that help you to address a situation, it’s your attitude that’s really making the difference. If playing a part helps you to address the situation, don’t beat yourself up for doing so. (In that instance, the individuals did take the child home and away from the drinking.)
And whether or not you can bring yourself to intervene, if you witness a disturbing incident, talk it over with friends, family, clergy, whoever will listen supportively to you. Because it can haunt a person for a long time to see a child be mistreated, and it can help us to talk about things that have hurt us.
FEEL FREE TO PASS ON THIS INFORMATION. PLEASE CREDIT BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP, or contact us for emailed copies in WORD format.
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OVERVIEWS OF SOME PAST BANSG EVENTS:
June 20, 2004 (Father's Day). Nannies from BANSG helped staff the "Dads Make a Difference Day" festival on Boston Common by running the free sack race and parachute games booths, and by helping fold and stack tables and chairs when the event ended. It was tremendous fun cheering and helping families participate in the games, and handing out prizes to all participants. We also had time to walk through the festival and enjoy some of the freebies, and gather information at some of the booths. Coordinator Tony Palumbo told our volunteer group that this annual event couldn't happen without us.
Jan. 17, 2004 HealthCare Insurance and Alternative Options, a presentation by Art Certisimo, was chock full of information.
Our presenter is a Licensed Insurance Agent in Massachusetts, who is also an enroller for the Alliance for Affordable Services (a nationwide not-for-profit organization that uses the buying power of groups to obtain discounts on a number of products and health options). Many general and specific questions were answered, and a 4th page was added to the BANSG MA health care info for individuals handout, from notes taken at the meeting. The handout is available to anyone...email or call janstclair@aol.com or 617-491-2541
VOLUNTEERING CHILDCARE for the Annual Regional Conference for Parents at Perkins School for the Blind, Saturday April 27, 2002, May 3, 2003, and May 1, 2004. Nannies volunteered in the infant and 3-4 year-old groups, and their calm confidence and expertise contributed greatly to the smooth running of the childcare. (Many of the volunteers are inexperienced high school students fulfilling community service requirements.) We will repeat this project yearly!
OVERVIEW OF MARCH 16/02 BANSG MEETING
It was indeed a chock-full event! Since this was the second anniversary of the Boston Area Nanny Support Group's first official meeting, we had special food treats, gifts, and many nice donated prizes in a surprise free raffle for all who attended. Nice turnout, great fun!
The "Vintage Nannies Networking" aspect of the meeting raised a lot of good-natured "we're OLD" jokes which younger attendees seemed to enjoy as well, and we got a good start on a "Vintage Nannies" networking list. One of our members hosted a get-together after the meeting for the Vintage Nannies who could stay. (Thanks, Anne!)
We also added to the Career Nannies Contact List, and began the signups for nannies volunteering childcare for the annual regional conference for parents of visually impaired preschoolers, taking place Sat. April 27, 8 am-3:30 pm at Perkins School in Watertown.
Our presenter for this month was Mary Lonergan, birth to five specialist from Ct State Services for the Blind. It was a very interactive and informative presentation, demystifying blindness and low vision in general (as related to both children and the dog-or-cane-using adults we may encounter in public). We got to play with and discuss the best toys to use with children with low vision or blindness, and everyone received a card with the braille alphabet and another with their name written in braille. Response to the presentation was very enthusiastic, and no one seemed to want to stop. The room was not reserved after 2 pm, and we actually went an HOUR over our regular time!
I passed out information on an upcoming 1-day volunteer project for people interested in braille, to take place at National Braille Press (near Symphony T stop). People who couldn’t make the meeting can contact me if interested.
OVERVIEW OF FEB 16/02 MOTHERS OF TWINS PRESENTATION/CAREER NANNY NETWORKING DAY:
On Saturday Feb. 16, Jean Fiorillo, president of the MA (founding) chapter of the MOTHERS OF TWINS ASSOCIATION gave a presentation to the BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP on issues specific to caring for multiples. Drawing on her own experience and that of others in her group, Jean gave a compelling picture of life with twins, and shared practical advice for those who may come to work with multiples at various ages and stages.
Great turnout, interesting presentation and discussion, helpful handouts!
This meeting was also "Career Nannies Networking Day", an opportunity for those who have made in-home childcare their career to find each other. 8 career nannies came and signed up on a contact list, and will decide as a group how they want to use this new connection. People may come and add their contact information to this list at any BANSG meeting. However, for internet safety reasons we ask that if we've never met you, you do come in person to a BANSG event or meet with me at a convenient time in order to sign up...I would not feel comfortable sending out everyone's contact information to anyone who emailed and asked for it. :-)
OVERVIEW OF 1/19/02 SENSORY EXPERIENCES AND HOMEMADE TOYS HANDS-ON WORKSHOP:
We had a great workshop and a nice turnout. There were stations for trying out messy and non-messy projects with mostly ingredients found in the home, Staples, or grocery store. Nannies got to find out what sorts of activities they would and wouldn't enjoy introducing to their charges. Our presenter also offered the leftover materials to attendees to take home and use...although handouts included a list local resources for finding cheap and free craft materials. We had a grand time and got to know new people, got lots of ideas, and then had a good time talking at lunch together at a nearby restaurant.
OVERVIEW OF DEC HOLIDAY PARTY AND YANKEE SWAP
We had a nice turnout, and a grand time noshing, gabbing, and playing games. Two Truths and a Lie was a big hit, and when I tried my statements out on my husband later, I even stumped him! There was a good amount of people to make the Yankee Swap fun, although the competative aspect didn't come out...everyone seemed to pick something they wanted on the first try!
I can't guarantee that everyone coming to BANSG meetings to make friends will meet someone from near their home town in their country of origin, but people who came to this meeting can attest that it does happen!
OVERVIEW OF HARRY POTTER MOVIE OUTING AND HOLIDAY TIP-SHARING MEETING:
The movie was universally well-received: the theater was packed with all ages, and all were silently mesmerized throughout... the only sounds were laughs at appropriate moments. Very true to the book, only great scenes were left out due to time considerations...read the books!
The meeting was very productive, and lots of great info and ideas were shared. A new and interesting question was raised...what products are uniquely available in the US that make good gifts to bring home to other countries? (Such as Britain and Europe, where American chain stores carry much of what we have here)
OVERVIEW OF OCT 20 WORKSHOP: CHILDREN'S LITERATURE
Megan once again put together a massive display of materials, both handouts and examples. We had a wonderful time talking about books and browsing through the ones she had laid out in neat categories. The packet of handouts she generated, both articles and booklists, is about an inch thick! We also passed out the booklists nannies from BANSG generated with the assistance of Children's Librarians on helping our charges of all ages deal with death, and with stresses generated by the recent terrorist events.
Afterward, we'd intended to visit a local bookstore together, but instead a quick stop at nearby Harvest Coop turned into an extended tour to enjoy the free food and entertainment offered at their anniversary celebration. :-)
OVERVIEW OF SEPT 15 MEETING: Sept. 15, 2001: HELP AND HEALING FROM THE TERRORISM AND TRADEDY: Gale Pasternack, a child psychiatrist who is also a mom, volunteered to come today to answer nannies' general and specific concerns about how the recent tragic events are affecting the children we care for, as well to offer and receive mutual support. It was very helpful to talk about our experiences and that of our charges, and to have a professional help us put our reactions into perspective.
OVERVIEW OF JUNE 16 PICNIC: Warmer than May, but still comfortable picnic weather. Everyone elected to have a leasurely lunch and a long lively chat on the shaded picnic blanket and to finish up with Herrell's Ice Cream in their converted bank vault with the undersea mural. Then some nannies went to enjoy the River Festival while others went shopping for craft supplies together at nearby Arlington's "Playtime".
OVERVIEW OF APRIL 21 WORKSHOP: Successful Negotiations: Getting the Salary You Deserve, presented by Lora Brawley:
Wow. That's about all I can say, is Wow.
Lora and several local nannies got together to publicize and put on this workshop, plus bought and prepared a FEAST for a social time afterward. This was all done as a kindness to me (Jan) so I wouldn't have to deal at all with the April meeting while I was dealing with an ongoing family crisis. I can't think of a better example of nannies supporting each other. I am very touched and grateful to all who contributed to this event.
The workshop itself was well-attended, and acclaimed by those present for being chock full of clearly-presented practical information on a much-needed topic for nannies. The food was heavenly and plentiful, the social time was wonderful. We stayed immersed until reminded that the library was closing:-).
MORE CURRENT OVERVIEWS WILL BE POSTED AS TIME PERMITS.
NO QUESTIONS, CONCERNS, OR PERSONAL ISSUES RAISED DURING THE MEETINGS WILL EVER BE REFERRED TO IN THESE SUMMARIES. CONFIDENTIALITY FOR OUR MEMBERS AND THEIR EMPLOYERS IS A TOP PRIORITY.
(end of overview)
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OTHER LOCAL GROUPS
NANNIES OF NEW ENGLAND, MASSACHUSETTS NANNIES, and MASS_NANNIES_DEN at yahoogroups.com. Get-togethers are organized during email chats.
WORCESTER NANNY SUPPORT GROUP Free. Sponsored by Original Nanny Service agency, open to all nannies. Monthly outing/meetings year-round, 1st Thursday of the month, 6:30 pm. Contact Judy at 508-755-9284
BOSTON AREA NANNIES, INC (BAN)
(Similar name, but unaffiliated with and separate from the BOSTON AREA NANNY SUPPORT GROUP) $35 yearly membership fee. Some resources free to the public...see website for information. www.bostonareanannies.com
THE NANNY FELLOWSHIP GROUP (on hiatus)
To inquire about the Nanny Fellowship Group, or for Christian nanny support, contact Jen at jkorbwca@yahoo.com or at 978-459-8649.
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INTERNET GROUPS FOR LOCAL NANNIES:
NENannynet at yahoogroups.com
Nannies of New England at yahoogroups.com
Massachusetts Nannies at yahoogroups.com
MA_Nannies Den at yahoogroups.com
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FREE EMAIL NEWSLETTERS FOR NANNIES:
NannyNetNews@yahoogroups.com (monthly) sign up at yahoogroups.
ANOTHER NANNY NEWSLETTER
Be The Best Nanny
contact Stephanie at bethebestnanny@aol.com for current subscription rates.
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OTHER NANNY PRODUCTS AND INFORMATION:
www.cardblvd.com is now developing a line of Nanny Cards. They have one up already, are developing more.
NANNYWEAR!- For tshirts and sweatshirts that have positive nanny slogans (including my prizewinning "Nanny Definition"), check out http://www.4nanny.com/products.htm in the gift shop! (I don't get anything out of plugging them...I just like to see "nanny pride" clothing made available!) See more Nannywear and nanny items at www.nannyessentials.com.
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LINKS FOR LOCAL AND INTERNET CHILDCARE COURSES:
Middlesex Community College (not for credit, so these are inexpensive):
http://noncredit.middlesex.cc.ma.us/fall02/childcare.htm
Correspondance Courses in Early Childhood Education (for credit):
www.cchs.edu
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PROMOTE CHILDREN'S LITERACY
For adults' and children's sized totes and tshirts, which feature fun and familiar storybook characters encouraging reading, go to www.wondershirts.com!
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IMPORTANT RESOURCES:
CPR INFORMATION: Child and Infant CPR certification is good for one year and renewal is a good thing! To find any Red Cross course near you in Massachusetts call 1-800-564-1234x4.
CPR Website for practice and review: http://www.vidbook.com/f/healt.htm?http://www.learn-cpr.com/
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POISON CONTROL: The number in MA is 617-232-2120
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The CHILD AT RISK HOTLINE is 1-800-792-5200, or you can call 1-800-4ACHILD. If you see even suspected abuse, you can get support and resources by calling here...and you can remain completely anonymous. The phone workers are willing to help you figure out what to do even if what you saw was not legally actionable...they are a great and supportive resource.
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CHILD SEATS are installed incorrectly more than 80% of the time, which could mean avoidable injury during a car accident, according to the National Safe Kids Coalition. To find a local source for free inspections and installation advice, call 877-348-4254 or visit either www.fitforakid.com or www.safekids.org. Or, go to www.nhtsa.dot.gov, click on "child safety seat inspections", and enter your zip code.
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DOES YOUR KIDS' SCHOOL HAVE JUNK FOOD VENDING MACHINES/CANTEENS?
To help parents and caregivers get more healthful foods into their schools, CSPI (Center for Science in the Public Interest) offers a "School Foods Tool Kit". It includes advice for working with school officials, model policies, sample letters, etc.
You can print it out FREE from www.cspinet.org/schoolfood
or order it postpaid for $10 (checks only) from CSPI School Kit, Suite 300, 1875 Connecticut Ave N.W., Washington, DC 20009-5728 (The Tool Kit is 70 pages long.)
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MEETING SITE and NEXT MEETING'S TOPICS
FREE NANNY EVENTS, ALL NANNIES INVITED:
Next BANSG event:
HOSTED BY LOCAL NANNIES:
ALL NANNIES AND AU PAIRS WELCOME!
WHERE:
Central Square Branch of the Cambridge public library, 45 Pearl St., Cambridge, in a comfortable conference room:
WHEN:
Sept. 20, 2008, noon-2pm
WHAT:
"Meet and Greet" pot luck lunch and chat. Meet local longtime nannies, new nannies, part-time, full-time, live-in, and live-out nannies. Make friends, network for playdates and after-work get-togethers and child-friendly outing information in your community, and just talk about the job with the only people who truly understand what you do for a living....other nannies! Come alone, or invite your nanny friends!
Bring lunch food for 6-8 to share, and a drink for yourself. (The Harvest Market and deli is a short block away on Mass. Ave., for last-minute food purchases.) Paper and plasticware provided.
INCLUDED:
Very Informal Optional Book Swap: If you have summer reading or childrearing books you are finished with, bring them for others to browse. Take home books you are interested in. I've been picking up classic childcare books (such as the Ferber sleep book) from other bookswaps, to give to anyone who wants them at the Meet and Greet.
AND,
The BANSG resource material will be there to browse also, with sample work agreements and collections of various nanny newsletters such as "Be the Best Nanny", etc.
WHO:
The Boston Area Nanny Support Group (BANSG)
We are an 8-year-old group of nannies providing free twice-monthly e-newsletter, support, resources, networking, and gatherings for fellow nannies in the Greater Boston Area (and for those further away, who want to come). We send our information to local agencies to distribute, but we are independent of agencies, and are completely nanny-operated. Boston Area Nanny Support Group (BANSG) is a very informal group, no dues or official membership procedure...just come when you can, and sign up for the email list so you know what's happening. :-)
If you plan to attend the Sept. 20 event, please RSVP to janstclair@aol.com.
Thanks!
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OUR REGULAR MEETING SPACE:
A cozy conference room in the Central Square branch of the Cambridge Public Library, 45 Pearl St. off Mass. Ave, a short block from the bus and Red Line T stops, and near major arteries like Mass Pike, Storrow Drive, and Memorial Drive. There is a $1/hr parking garage right next to the library, enter on Green St. off Pearl.
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